This week has been a serious struggle for me. So many things have changed and Mistress has discovered new powers and desires that to be honest I only fantasized about. She has become a hardened Mistress while also becoming more loving and affectionate at the same time. She has decided that cuckolding seems like a good idea. She has recognized the need for thorough punishments and that they must be administered at a much higher level than she had previously done. We are going on our vacation in a couple days and I have no idea what to expect, but she has promised more changes. Is anyone else’s head spinning yet?
So after all this news came about, tonight I am sitting here pondering all of this in a black bra and panty set, while Mistress is out at a bar with a potential Bull. I have been instructed to write about my feelings tonight and of the new changes. It is really too soon to know how I feel, it is all so new and unexpected. I know she is going to be disappointed, but for now all I know is that I am happy for her. She is starting to enjoy her role, and thus it makes me happy. I have flopped back in forth between happy for myself and sorry for myself, asking myself what I started. She has given me plenty of chances to back out; however she has informed me that I can’t be a man in bed the way she wants, so trying to be “normal” would never work. I am submissive by nature, and I will just have to learn my place and hope that this only brings us closer. It is a struggle now, but I am sure I will quickly learn to love our new relationship. If not, I am also sure she will help me understand.